Wacky Crack Pairing Filler Shenanigans, Or Something
by I'm Not Wearing Any Pants
Summary: I don't want to have to use my brain right now.


I own no Ben 10 characters. Remembering an extremely minor character who existed once or twice apparently makes you a better writer, and fan. Cool beans. I can do that.

Tiny, angry, midgety man, or dwarf, if you prefer, or whatever the PC term is these days, character and master hypnotist, though absolutely nothing was ever explained as to why and how he became this way, or developed his hypnotic watch technology, the Great Sublimino, was in his apartment complex one fine afternoon, lounging around, and thinking about large breasted tall women.

Suddenly, there came a knock upon the door.

"I HEAR A KNOCK UPON THE DOOR," Sublimino announced loudly, in his Invader Zim voice, not the less funny Sub-lame-ino voice. "I SHALL ANSWER IT!" He moved to answer the door before realizing he was in his underwear. "FIRST, I WILL CHANGE INTO MY NORMAL, EVERY DAY CLOTHING!"

He changed into his normal, every day clothing, which happened to be his weird circus-band-leader-ringmaster outfit with the hilariously long coat tails.

He again moved to answer the door. "I AM NOW ANSWERING THE DOOR." He tripped over his coat tails all the way there. He did that once in canon. Once. And never again. This means he's exceptionally bumbling. He also loves wearing helmets with microphones attached to them. All the time. He put on his microphone helmet. "I AM OPENING THE DOOR!" He opened the door.

He was shocked to see, who else, no really, who else...but Doctor Animo. The doctor was very wet, very much smelling like wet dog, and carrying a pet case that presumably held one of his not yet quite mutated animals.

"Oh, hey, what are you doing here?" Sublimino inquired, before he was shoved aside. "Hey! What's the big idea? Oh, wait..." He cleared his throat, and popped in a lozenge. "WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA? I'M TALKING TO YOU! HEY! HEEEY! LISTEN TO ME!"

Doctor Animo only acknowledged his angry, tiny, frienemy, after he was done unpacking, and had wrung out his clothing on the wood paneled floor.

"HEY! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST WALTZ IN HERE AND DO WHATEVER YOU WANT?" Sublimino bellowed.

"You took up residence in my residence so many times previously, now I'm doing it to you, little man," Doctor Animo stated. "If you have a problem, you can screw off!"

Sublimino tripped and yelled loudly. He got back up before tripping and falling once again. "I suppose this is a fitting scenario. But you forget, I have the power of HYPNOTIC SUGGESTION!" He pulled out his pocket watch. "YOU ARE GETTING SLEEPY! SLEEPY! YOU ARE IN MY POWER!" he yelled. He quickly remembered that one was the watch that never did anything. He searched his other pocket for the watch with the weird, unexplained hypno-power.

Doctor Animo grimaced at his stupid, annoying, unwanted roommate. He opened the carrier, revealing a snarling, feral badger.

"HOLY SHIT, WHAT THE FUCK, IS THAT A FUCKING BADGER?" Sublimino yelled. He bounded onto the couch in terror. "YOU CAN'T FUCKING BRING THAT INTO MY HOUSE, AND THEN LET IT LOOSE!"

"Oops, I already did," Doctor Animo responded. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get back to work, while my pet keeps you from interfering with it."

The badger screeched at Sublimino. He shrieked in response, and climbed onto the kitchen counter.

"Oh, come on!" he whined. "This isn't fair!"

"Life isn't fair," Doctor Animo said, from the adjoining room. "Survival of the fittest. Or in this case, survival of the smartest, and one with the most available resources. Nya-ha!"

"If I had my watch, YOU'D BE SO SORRY RIGHT NOW!" Sublimino yelled. Loudly. He shook his tiny fist.

He accidentally tripped on his coat tails again, and fell from the counter, smashing into a table, knocking down a light, and then being pounced on afterwards by the enraged, hungry badger.

"AAAAAH!" he screamed. "BADGER TEETH IN MY SMALL, TENDER UGLY-CUTE-BABY-MAN FLESH! MAKE IT STOP!"

Doctor Animo came back from the laundry room with dry clothes. He was lucky Sublimino wore all his other casual clothing three sizes larger, or nothing would have fit him. He stretched, and cracked his back. "I'll make it stop...if you agree to surrender your home and belongings to me, Doctor Animo, under penalty of badger based evisceration."

"WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU!" Sublimino yelled loudly. His voice had become higher pitched with terror, and the pain of slowly being ripped apart by a vicious, wild animal.

"It means gimme all your shit, or my badger will rip out your guts and chew them like Twizzlers," Doctor Animo explained, in more layman's terms.

"Oh, okay," Sublimino acknowledged. "ALL RIGHT, STOP, PLEASE, I'LL GIVE YOU ANYTHING YOU WANT! JUST GET THIS THING OFF ME!"

Doctor Animo snapped his fingers. The badger ceased tearing the tiny little man limb from limb. It wandered off down the hallway, to explore, and possibly claim the area beneath the bed for itself.

"Now, get up, and go make me a sandwich, feeble-minded lackey," Doctor Animo ordered.

Sublimino did so, reluctantly. He returned some odd minutes later, with a tuna sandwich. "It's not dolphin safe, if you care to know." He handed Doctor Animo the plate.

Doctor Animo grabbed the sandwich. "Fuck dolphins. They're too intelligent for me to manipulate into my evil servants. They're too moral," he explained, before shoving one half of the sandwich into his snaggle-toothed mouth.

"i thought you loved all the animals," Sublimino suggested.

Doctor Animo laughed. "What the fuck show have you been watching? I treat my animals like fucking Pokemons. Except I don't take them to the Poke-hospital when they get the shit beaten out of them. And once, I almost kicked a chicken."

"I've mostly been watching reruns of the two episodes I got to be in," Sublimino hesitantly informed, while looking slightly depressed. "How the fuck I managed to gain a fanbase through that, I'll never know."

"Your voice," Doctor Animo said, through a mouthful of bread. "And because of the hypnosis kink."

"Yeah, probably," Sublimino responded.

"Speaking of which, hand over your watch," Doctor Animo ordered.

"But it's all I have!" Sublimino protested. "Without it, I'm just a random, not at all remotely unique, weird little midget guy throwaway character! With sunglasses, and inexplicable facial scarring! And voiced by the hilarious Richard Horvitz!"

"Who cares? And you probably tripped over your ridiculous coat tails and bashed your face into a table corner," Doctor Animo suggested.

Sublimino looked shocked, and offended. "HOW DID YOU KNOW? I mean, THAT NEVER HAPPENED!" He tripped, rolled seven feet down the hallway, and fell down the stairs, into the basement. "THAT DIDN'T HURT!"

Doctor Animo closed the door, and locked it. "Well, that takes care of that."

And the story ends like that, for now.

End! (For now)


End file.
